It's Friday. Sex?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
