fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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