Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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