i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
