spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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