I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
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If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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