New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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