We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
