my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
