I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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