i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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