she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
