Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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