I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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