talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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