Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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