i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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