you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
