I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
