The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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