i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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