is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
