there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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