I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I supernannyed him into submission
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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