also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
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