He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
