Ambien. No doubt about it.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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