drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
