i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
