trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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