I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
