Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
