her vagina looked like bernie madoff
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Randomize