is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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