Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
