I'm lost and stupid without you.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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