Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
