i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
