He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Your penis caused this!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
