whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
