My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize