I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
