Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
