So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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