apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
