Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
