I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My breasts were aching with rage.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
