Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
