i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
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