sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
