That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
