You're a womanizer and a bitch.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
