I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
