Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
