Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
