I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
