I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
