Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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